You Must Have the Wrong Guy
January 28, 2010
Gym Pics 018.11 You Must Have the Wrong GuyNot surprisingly, a lot of people get offended by the fact that I am not in the business of promoting fitness. When I post something to this effect on FaceBook or Twitter some people get very upset and even call me mean names. (I have feelings, ya know)
Now I know this may come as an odd statement, considering what I do for a living and the fact that I am a part of the fitness industry. But I really don’t care to “give the gift of fitness” to people. I’m not going to be showing up at your front door dressed as Richard Simmons and telling you to pull your fanny of the couch because “it’s time to get fit!”
I don’t give a shit.
Before I go any further I should point out that I am not talking to most of my regular readers because, obviously you wouldn’t be here if you fit the description. Rather, I am pointing out the fact that people have often mistaken me for the wrong guy and I am trying to clear that up.
If you want to sit around and eat donuts all day why would that possibly bother me? And why would I want to motivate you? I’m not Jenny Craig or Matt Foley the motivational speaker who lives in a van down by the river. What you do is your choice. Sure I will make fun of you, laugh at you and encourage others to do the same; but it’s your life, not mine.
If you are too stupid to realize that regular exercise and a healthy diet is a necessary part of life I’m not going to waste my time telling you. Get on some prescription drugs, order a sausage pizza and watch another episode of Friends.
People ask me all kinds of questions when they find out what I do for a living.
“How do I lose this?” (grabbing a handful of a 48 inch waist)
“I don’t know.”
“How long should I do the stair climber for?”
“I don’t know.”
“I can’t give up carbs but I want to get lean. What should I do?”
“I don’t know.”
“I only have twenty minutes to train, twice a week. What should I do?”
“I don’t know.”
“I know you’re into all that heavy lifting but I can’t do that. What can I do instead?”
“I don’t know.”
“I’m a girl and I don’t want to get too bulky so how should I lift?”
“I don’t know.”
“How do I get motivated to go to the gym?”
“I don’t know.”
You either want to do something or you don’t. I’m not in the business of motivating people. Sure, I’ll shout some words of encouragement to serious trainees before they attempt a new squat max, and may even question their manhood in an attempt to get them even angrier. And I’ll cheer a guy on during a grueling conditioning finisher, but if you are not internally motivated already, you’re looking toward the wrong guy for help. I just don’t care enough to waste my time on those types of people.
Often times people will tell me that they want to train with me and that I if they hire me or come to my gym I really need to push them. No, I don’t. You need to push yourself. You’re hiring me for my program design skills which are based on 16 years of experience. Any nitwit can yell at someone like a drill sergeant. Just because a workout is hard doesn’t mean it’s effective. Just because a coach yells loudly it doesn’t mean he’s smart.
If you can’t find it within yourself and are not driven to excel, there is nothing I can do for you.
I’ll give hard working, motivated, intelligent people everything I have. But for everyone else I have no time or patience. I know this offends many people. But it’s just me being honest.
If someone needs to lose 15 pounds of fat in order to compete at a higher level in a weight class sport I’m all for helping them. If someone needs to lose 150 pounds I don’t have a clue what they should do. All I know is they shouldn’t have gotten into that situation in the first place. And allowing themselves to do so shows me they are undisciplined and lazy. I have little tolerance for these types of people.
There’s nothing I like more than helping guys get bigger, stronger and faster. Taking a new guys squat from 225 to 455 is a lot of fun for me. I know how to do that. But I don’t know what fat people should do. I don’t know what lazy people should do. And it doesn’t interest me to find out.
I told some fat people recently that they couldn’t out train a bad diet. Some were offended. They thought that as long as they trained hard on some high intensity circuit type workout a few days a week they would get lean.
They won’t. Nobody gets lean from doing kettlebell swings and burpees. If you’re eating clean, these will help, but unless your diet is spot on you aint losing an ounce. All the exercise in the world will do you no good without eating properly. These are the cold, hard facts, my friends.
So before you send me another email telling me that I am discouraging fat, lazy people from even trying to get fit in the first place, please realize that I don’t care. These are not my kind of people and that is not my market.
You must have the wrong guy.
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