why i don't personal train people anymore.
by Heather V Malo Starr on Monday, 25 July 2011 at 15:35
in case anyone was wondering out there.
i used to sit and listen to people's stories and actually listen to the problems they were going through at the time. this usually takes about an hour or so. and in the meantime, deciding on what strategy to use or simply analyze some of the bad habits they picked up along the way.
i listen, and then explain that we are doing workouts that will really keep them up and motivated and they're all different all the time, so there really is no 'routine'. then they tell me their old trainer gave them a 'routine' and this and that and they really liked it and so on and i explain that i am their new trainer and we're up on a new adventure.
if it's a woman i have to explain to her that lifting actual weights won't make her into a man, and if it's a man i have to tell him that what he did in the glory days of high school or college is not going to happen right this second until they work their way up to it.... they get upset.
not only that but i take the time to email back and forth and explain my policies. talk with them and find out a bit more, and get to know them a bit better before we meet..
explain that it is a commitment to themselves and constant cancellations are unacceptable as the work will not get done and they won't see what they want to see in the long run.
oh but wait, they don't want to change anything about themselves. they don't want to quit smoking or drinking, or eating greasy nasty food.... they're not going to change their ways to get a result here...
so i could be greedy and just take their money anyway, but i'm not into that.
then when they find out it actually costs money, whoa, there's another surprise! yes it costs money.
then they tell me they can join a gym for 10- bucks and why should they pay me my hourly fee...?
gee, maybe because i went to school for that, and can actually help you get what you seek. oh that's right, next time your tooth hurts don't go to a real dentist, go see the crackhead up the street, i am sure if you give him 10 bucks he'll pull your tooth out and give you some crack to heal your pain.
it's extreme, but similar in nature. just because a gym only charges you 10 dollars to join, doesn't mean you are gonna get anything out of that. cheap is never better and better is never cheap....
i go through countless emails, setting everything up and then boom, either it's the cost or the committment, or both.
this goes for anything, if you don't make a committment to it you won't get it done. and yes, most things in life cost money. i can't believe that i have to have this conversation with grown adults at times.
i pay plenty of money to have a trainer twice a week. i show up. then i go to the gym or run or something on my own because i'm committed to that. i don't smoke or drink .. i don't eat hot dogs and chili cheese burgers, or bags of potato chips. on occasion i will eat some ice cream or cookies or have some wine but it's not every day. i'm not lucky. i can't sit around and eat like shit and not get flabby and gross feeling and looking. i allow myself 3 hot dogs in summer. that's it.
sometimes i don't feel like doing the workout i am given, and i'm hot and sweaty and hungry but i do it anyway. sometimes i'm tired and sometimes i can't breathe from allergies, and sometimes it's all of the above. guess what? i do it anyway. sometimes i don't feel good or am having my period and bleeding all over the gym and guess what, i clean up the blood and continue on with it. gross i know, but i have something to do so i do it.
don't bitch to me about how fat and miserable you are and in same breath talk about how you get dunkins 3 times a day, ice coffee with extra extra, and so on. how you know you're out of shape but you don't want to not eat a big mac every day and you can't give up your weekly buffet at the local chinese because it's 'work related'.... how you won't give up smoking or some other habit or bad behavior that will really have an effect on your health results.
these are all excuses. this is called 'non committment'... frankly the only person i have time to babysit is my child, and i don't have to babysit her anymore either. she knows what to eat and what not to eat within reason. she eats what i eat and does what i do because i have set up an example by doing and showing. i don't put her in front of the xbox with a bag of chips and say 'have at it'.
oh and don't forget all the 'free advice'. it's nice to give free advice but when you finally say, why don't you make an appointment with me and we can go through all that stuff? they get all pissy? no i am not your walking personal encyclopedia or mathematician and cannot answer your question to -- if i am 240 lbs now, and i'm 5 ft. tall, how many days would it take for me to lose 100 lbs if i only ate once a day and took hoodia?
the bottom line here is not to sound like i am complaining, cause i'm not. i got my education and i will use it for myself and my family. it will not go to waste. if you are not ready to commit or pay money than unfortunately i cannot help you. it doesn't mean i'm greedy unless you want to do your job all the time for free--- when i do do a class for free i just ask that you show up and then what? nobody shows up..... if you can't make basic changes that will only benefit you in the long run, there is nothing i can do for you. i do not have a magic wand i can pull out of my ass and make you thin. if i did, don't you think i would have used it on myself?
being someone's go to girl to complain about your life, isn't for me. i am the go to girl when you want to do something about your life.....then come to me after you decide to commit and make the change for the best. not maybe, not ' i don't know' ... not ' i can't give up my big macs'.... sorry that's not how i do things.
helping people change is good. helping people change when all they are doing is wasting their time and my time and energy is not so good.... at this point i can only help a few exceptional people who are willing to show up.
sorry if i sound bitchy but it's the truth, and the truth hurts sometimes. i just choose not to do things that i don't enjoy anymore and only do the things that make happiness in my life. so that's it.
get educated, do the work, make a commitment, keep going. that's about all i can say on this matter ever again. or anything where it will take your time, energy and committment and a willingness to get it done to achieve your goals.
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