10 tips to avoid strength gains and remain a skinny-fat pud

[samurai69]

1. Avoid doing anything fast except your 20 minute metcon, keep working on that lean and toned look. Fast singles, doubles and triples are for de-conditioned meatheads.

2. Avoid eating fat because its going to turn your 32 inch waist into a blobby mess. Remember that there is no fat in whole grain cereal and thats the key to being healthy.

3. Focus on the doing the bodyweight plank as your hardest abs exercise. Doing a heavy, uneven loaded carry would certainly cause you to become imbalanced and grow crooked.

4. Always do full body training to limit your strength and mass gains in any one area. Avoid any body part splits so you won't to get too bulky.

5. Never push too hard against the resistance, maintain a slow and controlled tempo to avoid injury. Safety first, protect your joints.

6. Avoid any accessory work to address your weaknesses, focus only on the things you're good at, like 5k runs and carbohydrate consumption. Never try anything new, you might learn something.

7. Accuse any strong athlete, who trains with high levels of intensity, of being on steroids. It's not possible to train more than once a day without secret sauce.

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8. Complain about how expensive organic meat and healthy eating is and continue regularly consuming Ramen noodles for 17 cents a pack. The key to health is cheap food and expensive insurance.

9. Never go too heavy or too hard on an exercise. If you have been doing it so well for the past few years, it'll work for the next few as well.

10. Never do any big time lifts like squats, deadlifts, cleans or presses. You might get overly coordinated, pack on some quality muscle, get too much attention from hot women, and your confidence levels will most likely get out of control. This could cause an initial depletion of monetary funds due to the high occurrence of new dates and potential coital experiences.

[Cookie]

Very true

[Scott]

apart from number 4 and number 8 which are total wank and very typical of a t-nation self blowjob.

Always do full body training to limit your strength and mass gains in any one area. Avoid any body part splits so you won't to get too bulky

seriously? this old chestnut yet again are there still people publicly stating that you cannot get strong using a full body training routine? WTF, have Flex magazine re-released all their 80s editions!

Complain about how expensive organic meat and healthy eating is and continue regularly consuming Ramen noodles for 17 cents a pack. The key to health is cheap food and expensive insurance.

of course dont give the cost of anything a second thought because the higher the price then the better the product..... No-one in the entire world made strength gains on a budget obviously if you dont buy organic then the alternative is utter shit which will destroy you...... yeah sure.
Actually we should ALL complain about the cost of organic food because if it is the key to health then surely it should be more accessible to everyone.