Whats the difference between a magician's wand and a police officers truncheon?
One is used for cunning stunts.
The other is used...... in the apprehension of violent criminals.
A guy gets home and finds his wife with a frying pan in the kitchen. The gas is on and theres a sock in the pan.
"What the flook are you doing woman!" he says.
"Just what you kept asking me to do last night dear, I'm cooking your sock."
What's the difference between a nun and a horny woman in a shower.
One's got 'hope in her soul' and the others got...
Two blonds walk into a building.
You'd think one of them would've seen it.
A man goes to his Dr, totally naked and wrapped in cling-film.
He says, "Dr, Dr, what's the matter with me?"
Dr says, "I can clearly see you're nuts!"